Lolita Fashion Shoot

i saw this from one of my pretty lolita contacts, and i am so excited about it. it is only recently that i have found the guts to reveal my interest and love with lolita, vintage, gothic related things. if only i had more clothes for dress up, but after giving birth i find it more difficult to find clothes that would fit. T_T well, i am just simply excited about this and i hope i could be a part of it; if not, i can always support it! maybe this is my chance to resurrect the corset hidden in my closet!

Labels: fashion, fashion shoot, goth, loli, lolita, shoot

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to forgive and forget.

a year or two ago, i made a huge mistake that ended up with losing two of my closest (or so i thought) friends. it was difficult after that incident, knowing that i did it for a reason that personally i thought was right. i fought for my old best friend because this guy friend of mine (let's name his roy) was talking about her in his blog. the things he said in his blog made me feel hate against my old best friend as i read it, it made her look like she was mean, that she took him for granted, made him look like a fool, hurt his feelings. but then one day, i thought, would it be right to be talking about her this way? if you truly loved a person, would you really make her look like that in front (or through the internet) of others? it wasn't her fault at all. it would be wrong to love someone because of being pushed into it for pity.

he said in his blog that she had changed. he appeared to me at first as someone who was in pain, i understand that and i've commented that he shouldn't waste his time with someone who would not see his worth. the thing is, the girl had her own side. and that day, i fought for her. and i lost my temper.

it was a bad day, and a bad year. i held my pride for awhile, knowing that i did something for a reason. the awful thing was, i lost two friends in the process. and in a way, i lost a whole group of friends as well.

i've asked forgiveness a year ago, at christmas. and still until today i keep wishing for total forgiveness from them. sometimes i feel humiliated and embarrassed to me saying my piece through txts and blog entries, and ending up with no replies at all.

i have changed alot since then. i'm a different person now altogether. i just wish they could see that, because saying you forgive someone is not enough. forgetting should really be part of the package. i wish they knew how it felt for someone like me.

Labels: forgetting, forgiveness, friendship

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lost and found.

where's the fire in my heart?
i've lost it,
i've lost it.
have a look out,
can you find it?

i'm feeling so old,
it's impossible.
aren't i young?
where's the fuel, the anger?

dear love,
can you still see me?
i feel i've lost touch with reality.
dear love,
can you find me? can you find me?
i'm out there,
please look for me.

weren't i an artist,
a poet?
i used to breathe words,
and passions unspoken.

dear love, dear love,
bring me my passion--
i can't go on with merely compassion.

i wish i knew how i've forgotten,
when all i wanted was not to be broken.
dear love, dear love,
can you find what's missing?
i feel so old,
and its not really easy.

dear love, my love,
i'm sorry, so sorry.
i wish i could be happy,
wish i was fiery.

Labels: found, lost, poem

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blogspot?

haha. i can't believe i didn't understand this before, they mostly use html. well, anyways.. yeah, i'm back to blogging. since i can't really blog at my multiply, this is the place where i can be free to speak what i want. i'm sorry about borrowing layouts, i have lost my programs and stuff after my hubby's computer needed some reformat-action. gah. 

Labels: blog, blogspot, html, new beginnings

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SAM. 20. filipina. a mother of a four month old angel nicknamed aienne. secretly married. an artist, poet, and photographer. aspiring fits to all three.