so it is out in the open, they are mocking me. they are making fun of me and the things i love. i can't paste it here anymore, i don't want to be able to read it over and over again, it'll drive me insane.

what have i done to deserve this? i've tried to sympathize and empathize with them eventhough i know they hate me. i've tried to lay low so that i wouldn't be talked about anymore, but whatever i do it is THEM who seek me.

i am a genuine and kind friend, i try to be there when someone needs me. i am as real as can be, i do not back stab, i sometimes can be frank but what did i do to deserve this? if they have something against me, why not tell me openly?

i have done nothing wrong to them, but why do they increase in size? one day i will just be astonished that another friend has deleted me off their list and now hates my guts.  what have i done?

i want to cry so hard, but i dont want to show alvin how much it hurts me. they used to be my friends, they used to be OUR friends. and how i cared for them before.

it is so fucked up, i don't need a reason to be angry with God. it is not His fault why their acting like this, He has given me so much blessings.

But i can't help but to weep...

i can't go on if this continues, i try to be strong. i try to appear that i will stand up and hit them like a ravaging beast or storm, but in my heart, i am hurt. i am hurt that they would do this to me.

but i can't do anything about it anymore but to stand up for myself and what i believe in.

you don't know me when i get angry, i don't even know myself. but this time, all the hate and anger i have hidden within myself will come out, and you, you lying fake friends of mine will take the fall.

be prepared because i will show no mercy.